The Everygirl https://theeverygirl.com/ The life map for Everygirls everywhere Sat, 15 Feb 2025 14:01:55 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.2 I’ve Talked to 100+ of the Most Confident Women–Here’s What I’ve Learned About Self-Love https://theeverygirl.com/self-love-tips-from-confident-women/ Fri, 14 Feb 2025 19:31:19 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=509418 self-love After hosting The Everygirl Podcast for almost three years, I consider myself an expert on self-love. To get to spend

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After hosting The Everygirl Podcast for almost three years, I consider myself an expert on self-love. To get to spend an hour chatting with some of the most confident women in the world—from billionaires to body image advocates to wellness gurus to general badasses—I’d have to be an idiot to not pick up on a few things. Whether I’m interviewing a celebrity nutritionist or reality TV star, the topic of confidence always comes up, whether I plan for it or not. I’ve learned self-love is the foundation of everything: optimal health, career success, a happy relationship—whatever you want in your life, self-love is what you need to get there.

And yet, it has been so deeply programmed out of women. We’ve been taught the “right” way to be a woman is to hate our bodies, put others first, make ourselves small in body and spirit, to be selfless—as if being void of self is a virtue to strive for rather than a devastation to run away from. So my hope for you—and my call to women everywhere—is to be selfish. To love yourself so unburdenedly and unconditionally, to be so full of self that no one would even think to call you selfless. Here are six lessons about self-love I’ve learned from unbelievably confident women that I want you to know, too.

“Be selfish—love yourself so unburdenedly and unconditionally, be so full of self that no one would even think to call you selfless.”

1. Self-esteem is a matter of focus

My conversation with self-esteem expert Dr. Simone Alicia (known as The Self-Esteem Doctor) completely transformed my relationship with myself and the way I think about self-love. A major lesson she shared was that self-esteem or lack of self-esteem, confidence or lack of confidence, is just a matter of where we put our attention. “ A lot of self-esteem issues are a matter of our focus, where we’re giving our attention and how much of our attention we’re giving.” Dr. Simone explained that emotions are like seeds; whatever emotions you “water” begin to grow. If you focus on the bad—how you compare to other people, flaws you dislike, or mistakes you’ve made—it starts to grow like a garden of weeds in your mind.

But the opposite is also true: If you water the seeds of what you like about yourself, what you’re proud of, or why you’re worthy, that will grow, too. So next time an unconfident or unkind thought about yourself comes up, get into the habit of giving it less attention: Replace it with positive thoughts, or simply remind yourself that no one else notices or cares about your flaws as much as you do, and think about a different subject if that feels easier.

Listen to my episode with The Self-Esteem Doctor

2. When you’re lacking confidence, visualize the best-case scenario

You may be familiar with Dateline correspondent Andrea Canning as the true crime queen, but I surprisingly learned an amazing confidence tip when I got to chat with her. She has been in the most insane situations—from interviewing serial killers to breaking news to millions of people—that require you to be very sure of yourself. So I asked Andrea for her #1 confidence tip or something she does when feeling self-doubt before going on live TV in front of millions of people. Her response: “ Especially at the beginning, I would visualize it all going great: I know my stuff, I walk out of this live shot, and everyone’s gonna say, ‘Hey, Andrea, you did a great job.‘ I just put the positive out there that it’s all going to be perfect.”

The truth is that most of us spend time thinking of the worst-case scenarios, feeling like we’re not worthy or not ready for big opportunities. We often ask ourselves, “What could go wrong?” I’ve learned that the most confident women ask themselves, “What could go right?” Confidence isn’t a trait you’re born with; it’s making the effort to think of the best-case scenarios instead of the worst.

Listen to my interview with Andrea Canning

3. Actually look at yourself in the mirror for body acceptance

Ayesha Perry-Iqbal is an inspiring model, women’s rights advocate, and speaker who shared with me her healing journey and how she found self-love and body acceptance. When I asked her how she learned to love her body after growing up feeling othered and dealing with bullying, she told me that we need to look at ourselves in the mirror more often—and actually look. “I couldn’t look at myself fully in the mirror for a long time,” she said. “Looking at myself in the mirror, accepting the image that I really see—not the disproportionate vision I have of myself—giving myself actual compliments, being around myself more naked, like when you’re in the shower, pay attention to yourself…” When you truly look to admire your body, Ayesha notes that you’ll realize there is nothing wrong with you: You’re healthy, and you’re beautiful. We need to see our bodies for what they are, beyond obsessing over every little flaw, and know that even if we can’t find beauty in our bodies, they are doing exactly what they are meant to do and—to quote Ayesha—actually, there is nothing wrong with you.

Listen to my interview with Ayesha Perry-Iqbal

4. Social media changes your self-esteem

To me, hearing “social media detox” is like hearing “eat your vegetables”: I know I’m supposed to be doing it, but is it really exciting advice that feels like it will change my life? Not really. Until Mimi Bouchard told me the surprising effects of being off social media for almost six months. “I thought that I had done a lot of work on myself and never compared myself to other people,” she said. “But when I was on social media, I realized I was not feeling great about myself and comparing myself, feeling like I had so much I had to constantly improve, and I didn’t realize it at the time.” Because social media has been such a prevalent part of our lives for so long, we have no idea how it is really affecting us—and it likely is negatively affecting our contentment, stress levels, and self-esteem.

It took Mimi leaving social media for months to realize how much it was actually impacting her. “Being offline, I don’t have this craving to show off or a need for validation. And I’ve just really fallen in love with myself even more.” Even if a six-month social media detox doesn’t feel realistic, consider spending less time on the apps (even just five minutes less every day adds up) or unfollowing any accounts that may be harming your self-esteem.

Listen to my interview with Mimi Bouchard

5. Don’t give external or changing factors the credit you deserve

Sarah Nicole Landry (The Birds Papaya) initially went viral years ago for her “successful” 100-pound weight loss journey—but secretly, she had never felt worse, physically and mentally. Sarah decided to start posting about her insecurities instead, and years (and millions of followers) later, she has created a successful career out of helping women embrace their bodies, get over insecurities, and love themselves. An important message she shared in our conversation is how we tend to use external factors as tools to love ourselves: finishing a marathon, getting a fresh haircut, wearing a cute outfit. While you should feel proud of what you work hard for and love your haircut or outfit (because you do look SO cute!!), your self-love shouldn’t hinge on these things. Because does that mean you are unlovable during the times in your life when you can’t run a marathon or you’re having a bad hair day?

What we accomplish or how we look affects the way we feel about ourselves, but they’re just representations of who we are and who we still would be if we didn’t finish a marathon or look cute in an OOTD. “A red lipstick doesn’t make you a more powerful person in the boardroom; you wearing it is reflecting who you want to be,” Sarah said. “A blazer does not make you a badass bitch. You’re a badass bitch, and you feel it when you put on a blazer.” In other words, you deserve the credit, not the external factors.

Listen to my interview with The Birds Papaya

“A blazer does not make you a badass bitch. You’re a badass bitch, and you feel it when you put on a blazer.”

6. Feel the fear and do it anyway

Psychology says that a key pillar of self-love is self-efficacy, or the belief that you can accomplish a task or goal. A lack of self-esteem is often due to letting fear stop you from what you want to do (whether it’s a tough workout, getting up once the alarm goes off instead of scrolling on your phone, going on a first date, or making a career move), so you subconsciously learn you cannot trust yourself to do what you actually want to do. I asked best-selling author and entrepreneur Lori Harder how she was able to accomplish what she wanted over letting her fears take over, and she explained that she started practicing what she was afraid of. “ Public speaking was like my biggest fear. I couldn’t speak in front of four people…  I now speak on huge stages—15,000 people—often.” She recommends taking baby steps: She started speaking at a table with a few friends and eventually increased until she got comfortable being uncomfortable with public speaking.

But the important part is not getting over the fear; it’s knowing that you can do it anyway. “ Notice that I did not say stepping into your fear and getting over it—it doesn’t go away,” she said. “I still am the most nervous person before I speak, no matter how prepared I am.” We often look at fear as a red light; because we are afraid or uncomfortable, we shouldn’t do it. Feeling discomfort and fear but still doing the thing you want is what builds self-efficacy, which improves self-esteem and confidence.

Listen to my interview with Lori Harder

MEET THE AUTHOR

Josie Santi, Senior Wellness Editor & Podcast Host

Josie has been an editor and writer for The Everygirl since 2017 and became a certified Holistic Health Coach in 2020. As the Senior Wellness Editor, she oversees, writes, and edits wellness content, as well as reports on wellness trends and interviews the industry’s leading experts. Listen to Josie on The Everygirl Podcast.

Feature graphic images credit to: Felicia Lasala for The Everygirl Podcast, Ajaila Walke | Dupe, Emily Park | Dupe

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I’m a Lifelong Skier—This Is My 5-Step Method to Nailing an Après Ski Outfit https://theeverygirl.com/apres-ski-aesthetic/ Fri, 14 Feb 2025 18:26:40 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=508962 apres ski outfits As someone who’s been skiing since the age of 8, I know the magic of a powdery run through the

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As someone who’s been skiing since the age of 8, I know the magic of a powdery run through the evergreens. But even on my most athletic days, I’m the type to tap out after a couple of greens and spend the rest of the afternoon sipping hot toddies by the fire.

From Kendall Jenner to Sabrina Carpenter, après-ski style has been everywhere this winter—whether they’re actually hitting the slopes or just soaking up the wood-paneled glow of the Aspen lodges. Think effortless layers, chunky knits, and winter boots that say, I could ski, but I’d rather not. If you want to master the après-ski aesthetic without looking like you’re headed to a themed party, here’s the foolproof formula from someone who’s perfected it both on and off the mountain.

1. The perfect base layer

A solid après-ski look starts with the right foundation. Whether you’re layering a sleek turtleneck underneath your puffer or wearing a fitted thermal as a standalone moment, base layers keep you warm, dry, and free from that “I can’t move my arms” kind of bulk.

Dudley Stephens
Fleece Turtleneck
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Dudley Stephens
Waffle Turtleneck
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Revolve
Thermal Bodysuit
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lululemon
Fleece-Lined Leggings
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2. A sweater that’ll help you defrost

I like to think of après ski as a love letter to a good sweater. Whether you go bold or keep it classic, the key is an oversized fit that’s cozy enough to lounge in, but stylish enough to wear out when you finally shed the puffer.

Dudley Stephens
Fleece Pullover
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Anthropologie
Fringed Cardigan
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Everlane
Oversized Turtleneck
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Aritizia
Merino Wool Sweater
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Source: Ally Wolf

3. A good coat that makes a statement

The right coat is the main character of any après-ski look. It needs to be warm enough for stepping out into the snow, light enough to drape over a chair by the fire, and stylish enough to make you feel like you belong in an Aspen paparazzi shot. These would put any black puffer to shame.

winter coats
Varley
Short Puffer Coat
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winter coats
Tularosa
Sherpa Coat
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winter coats
PISTOLA
Puffer Jacket
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winter coats
Apparis
Ski Jacket

2 colors available

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snow boots
Source: @madelinegalassi

4. Winter boots that feel like a warm hug

Anyone who’s worn ski boots for more than five minutes knows the pure bliss of taking them off (IYKYK). There’s no better feeling than swapping them for something cloud-like or furry—bonus points if they’re both.

Sam Edelman
Cuffed Booties
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Free People
Sport Snow Boots
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Sam Edelman
Lug Sole Booties
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Michael Kors
Patent Leather Boots
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5. Accessories that make the outfit

This is where you can get a little unexpected. A baseball cap with a fur coat? Chic. Chunky earrings and a fuzzy headband? Now’s the time. A faux-mink scarf? Wrap it on. Lean in, have fun, and don’t be afraid to pull out all the stops.

Anthropologie
Chunky Square Earrings
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Anthropologie
Yankees Cap
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Apparis
Faux Mink Scarf
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Dé Rococo
Fuzzy Headband
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Paige Cushman, Branded Content Editor

From small community newspapers to country music marketing, Paige has found the most fulfillment in finding and sharing the uniquely human stories that compel an audience. As a Branded Content Editor at The Everygirl, she is able to combine her excitement about women’s issues and pop culture with her editorial skills to create quality content for our brand partners.

This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Dudley Stephens but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

 

The post I’m a Lifelong Skier—This Is My 5-Step Method to Nailing an Après Ski Outfit appeared first on The Everygirl.

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Where You Should Travel Next, Based on Your Favorite Book https://theeverygirl.com/where-to-travel-based-on-books/ Fri, 14 Feb 2025 16:43:55 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=508565 where to travel based on your favorite book Some books inspire you to reinvent your life; others send you spiraling into internet rabbit holes to research historical events,

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Some books inspire you to reinvent your life; others send you spiraling into internet rabbit holes to research historical events, but one of my favorite genres is the kind that has you looking up plane tickets the second you finish. These books have such vivid settings that they feel as essential to the story as the characters. Even if the world is entirely fictional, they make me desperate to visit. I’ve tried immersive reading experiences with thematic playlists and TV backgrounds, but these can only transport you so far. Instead of settling for shabby recreations, why not plan a trip to experience your favorite book setting IRL? Here’s where you should travel next based on your favorite book.

1. Book Lovers by Emily Henry: Asheville, North Carolina

where to travel based on books
Source: Amazon

In Book Lovers, Nora and Charlie’s romance takes place in the picturesque town of Sunshine Falls, North Carolina. The fictional setting was inspired by the small mountain towns surrounding Asheville, making this city the perfect destination to feel like you’re living in your own Emily Henry novel. Stroll through downtown, popping into local coffee shops and boutiques that channel that Book Lovers charm. Be sure to stop by Malaprop’s Bookstore/Cafe, a beloved local spot, to browse shelves and pick up your next read. It’s easy to imagine you’re at Goode Books in Sunshine Falls.

While in Asheville, visit the famous Biltmore Estate, an enormous mansion and estate built by George Vanderbilt. And if you’re craving the outdoors, hike the Black Balsam Knob Trail or visit Mount Mitchell.

2. The Wedding People by Alison Espach: Newport, Rhode Island

The Wedding People was one of my favorite reads this year, and the moment I finished it, I was on Google tracking flights to Rhode Island. While the luxury hotel in the book might be out of reach, Newport has plenty to offer without the thousand-dollar-a-night price tag. Head to Bowen’s Wharf and Bannister’s Wharf for shopping, waterfront scenery, and a lobster roll. After a little retail therapy, tour one of the town’s famous Gilded Age mansions. The Breakers, a 138,300-square-foot “summer cottage” built by the Vanderbilts, is a must-see. If you’re feeling adventurous, walk along The Cliff Walk, the same trail Phoebe visits in the book. In the evening, hop aboard a sunset cruise to admire Newport’s beauty from the water.

3. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas: Zermatt, Switzerland

A Court of Thorns and Roses is a fantasy classic for good reason. While you can’t book a flight directly to Sarah J. Maas’s magical realms, Zermatt, Switzerland, comes surprisingly close. With a towering, snow-capped mountain as a backdrop, Zermatt feels like Velaris brought to life. The village’s charming boutiques and meandering river resemble the enchanting atmosphere of the Night Court.

For the best view of the Matterhorn, ride on the Gornergrat Railway or take the cable car up to Matterhorn Glacier Paradise to experience the magical scenery from the sky. Zermatt is known as a skiing destination, but in the summer, there are also plenty of hiking trails to explore. Spend the rest of your trip perusing Zermatt’s picturesque stores and cozy restaurants and strolling along the river that runs straight through the town.

4. The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand: Nantucket, Massachusetts

If you adored The Perfect Couple (or binged the Netflix adaptation), you know Nantucket is a dreamy spot for a coastal getaway (minus the murder mystery). This destination combines relaxed island energy with that preppy, old-money touch. When you arrive on the island, rent a bike to easily get around while soaking in the salty ocean air. Cycle to downtown Nantucket for shopping, and stop by the nearby Whaling Museum to dive into the island’s maritime history. For postcard-perfect photo ops, visit iconic lighthouses like Brant Point, Great Point, or Sankaty Head. For a beach day, head to Jetties Beach, known for its gentle surf and proximity to The Sandbar, a laid-back spot for lunch or dinner.

5. Tom Lake by Ann Patchett: Traverse City, Michigan

Tom Lake has lived rent-free in my mind since I finished reading it. Yes, for the captivating story, but I also haven’t stopped dreaming about the Michigan cherry farm where it takes place. While the book doesn’t name a specific town, Traverse City offers a similar experience with cherry farms, beaches, and vineyards galore.

Plan your visit for late June or early July to catch the National Cherry Festival, where you’ll find every cherry-inspired treat imaginable. Outside of the festival, you can pick your own cherries from early July to mid-August. Once you’ve gotten your cherry fix, explore The Village at Grand Traverse Commons, a dining and shopping area housed in historic buildings. For nature lovers, Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore is a gorgeous spot for hiking, beach days, or just soaking in the beauty. If you like spending your time in nature with a glass of wine in hand, you can also plan a day to tour the many wineries in the area, like Mari Vineyards or Chateau Grand Traverse.

6. Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt: Port Townsend, Washington

Though Remarkably Bright Creatures is set in the fictional town of Sowell Bay, Port Townsend, Washington, offers a remarkably similar vibe. Both towns are adorable coastal gems with endless outdoor adventures. While Port Townsend doesn’t have an aquarium like the book, you can see some of Washington’s magnificent wildlife by heading out to sea on a whale-watching expedition to see orcas, humpback whales, and more. After a day on the ocean, check out Main Street’s shops and restaurants before heading to Fort Worden State Park for hiking trails, beaches, and Victorian architecture.

7. Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid: Los Angeles, California

If you’re a die-hard Taylor Jenkins Reid fan, you probably know that all her books set in the Evelyn Hugo universe take place in LA. You could easily plan an entire weeklong vacation dedicated to her novels, but I’m focusing on fan-favorite Daisy Jones & The Six. Start your day at Clark Street Diner, a filming location from the show where the band came up with the name “The Six.” The diner still exudes a ’60s vibe, making it the perfect spot to fuel up with coffee. Next, head to the iconic Chateau Marmont hotel, where Daisy and her bandmates lived. While staying there might be pricey, you can walk around, grab lunch or dinner, and soak up the atmosphere.

No trip inspired by Daisy Jones would be complete without catching a concert. The Troubadour, where The Six were discovered, is a legendary LA music venue that has hosted icons like Bob Dylan, Elton John, and Joni Mitchell. You should also swing by The Whisky a Go Go, Daisy’s infamous partying spot. Though it’s now primarily a live music venue, it still holds the energy of the nightclub Daisy used to sneak into.

8. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah: Paris, France

where to travel based on books
Source: Amazon

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah is a favorite for many readers, and for good reason. This unforgettable novel follows two sisters on separate paths during the German occupation of France in World War II. If you loved this tearjerker of a book, consider a trip to Paris to visit the historical sites tied to the story. Begin with the Museum of the Liberation of Paris, which delves into the city’s occupation and eventual liberation from Nazi control. It’s an essential stop for understanding the history of The Nightingale. You won’t want to skip other iconic landmarks like Notre Dame Cathedral, the Louvre Museum, and the Arc de Triomphe. And, of course, indulge in as many croissants and café crèmes as your heart desires.

If you have extra time, plan a day trip to the Loire Valley. This region inspired the fictional town of Carriveau in the book, and it’s only about an hour by train from Paris. The countryside provides a serene contrast to the bustling city.

9. Every Summer After by Carley Fortune: Barry’s Bay, Ontario, Canada

Every Summer After is one of my all-time favorite romance novels, and ever since reading it, I’ve been dying to visit Barry’s Bay. The idyllic summer cottage setting in Canada sounds like a dream, and the best part is that Barry’s Bay is a real place.

This quaint lakeside town is known for its serenity and slow pace, perfect for a relaxing getaway. Stay near the water and spend your days enjoying outdoor activities. If you don’t have access to a boat, you can rent one for a peaceful day on the lake. Hiking enthusiasts will find plenty of trails to explore, with options for all skill levels. Be sure to visit the charming downtown area, where you can stroll through the streets and browse the local shops.

10. Normal People by Sally Rooney: Dublin, Ireland

The last time I was in Europe, I planned a whole trip to Dublin specifically because of my obsession with Normal People, and it turned out to be one of my favorite trips of all time. Kick off your visit at Trinity College, where Connell and Marianne attended school. The campus is fantastic, but the highlight is the Old Library and the Book of Kells exhibition. Be sure to give yourself enough time to fully immerse yourself in the dark academia vibes.

Afterward, head to Dublin Castle for a dose of history and beautiful architecture. After all your tourist activities, you’ll need a drink to relax, and no trip to Ireland is complete without a pint of Guinness. In Dublin, you can actually visit the Guinness Storehouse to see how the magic is made. Head to the top level for a panoramic view of the city. If you’d rather experience Dublin’s nightlife than take a brewery tour, head to the Temple Bar area for lively pub hopping.

11. The Paradise Problem by Christina Lauren: Bali, Indonesia

The Paradise Problem is set on a private island in Indonesia, and if that kind of vacation is in your future, go off. But for the rest of us, Bali makes for a slightly more realistic option with similar vibes. You could spend your entire vacation on the beach and leave completely satisfied, but there are so many other bucket-list-worthy things to see and do. Start with a visit to the Pura Ulun Danu Bratan floating temple and the Jatiluwih Rice Terraces—both are breathtaking and deeply rooted in Balinese culture. For a more active excursion, take the Campuhan Ridge Walk, a stunning scenic trail that will help you hit your step goals in the most picturesque way possible.

Don’t miss the bustling Ubud Traditional Art Market, where you can shop for unique, handmade Indonesian goods that make perfect souvenirs. To truly embrace your The Paradise Problem trip, maybe you can even find a wedding to crash.

12. Pineapple Street by Jenny Jackson: New York City, New York

Jenny Jackson’s debut novel, Pineapple Street, was one of the best reads of 2023. While the family in the book may be deeply flawed, the picturesque brownstones on Pineapple Street will have you dreaming of life in Brooklyn Heights. To get a taste of it yourself, start at L’Appartement 4F, a viral Parisian-inspired bakery, for a latte and pastry. From there, take a stroll down Pineapple Street to soak in the charm of this historic, tree-lined neighborhood. For an amazing view of the Manhattan skyline and the Brooklyn Bridge, walk along the Brooklyn Heights Promenade, a pedestrian walkway that overlooks the waterfront.

After spending time in Brooklyn, head into Manhattan to hit classic NYC landmarks like Central Park, Rockefeller Center, and the Empire State Building. Wrap up your day with dinner at a famous New York restaurant like The Corner Store or The Polo Bar, followed by a Broadway show for the quintessential New York experience.

lauren blue
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lauren Blue, Assistant Editor

As an Assistant Editor for The Everygirl, Lauren ideates and writes content for every facet of our readers’ lives. Her articles span the topics of must-read books, movies, home tours, travel itineraries—and everything in between. When she isn’t testing the latest TikTok trend, she can be found scouring Goodreads for new releases to feature on the site.

Products included in graphics linked within the article. Feature graphic images credited to: Lisa Christensen | Dupe, Cora Pursley | Dupe, Mika A | Dupe, Jordan Hunter | Dupe.

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60 Journal Affirmations and Prompts to Improve Self-Love https://theeverygirl.com/self-love-affirmations-and-journal-prompts/ Fri, 14 Feb 2025 16:20:10 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=345803 self love affirmations While there can be many forms of love—from your family to friendships to children—arguably the most important kind is the

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While there can be many forms of love—from your family to friendships to children—arguably the most important kind is the love you feel for yourself (because you can’t give from an empty cup). Self-love–along with self-care–are concepts that easily get tossed around and put on the back burner, but showing yourself some TLC sends a message to your subconscious that you are worthy of so much affection. Maintaining an affirmation journal and practicing affirmations not only serve as daily reminders of how uniquely great you are, but they can also give you the confidence to become your highest, best self, leading to more meaningful relationships and fulfilling experiences. Read on for 60 journal prompts and affirmations to get you started on your self-love practice. 

Journaling for Self-Love

Journaling for self-love is a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery. By putting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences on paper, you create a safe space to explore your inner world without judgment. This practice helps you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, recognize your strengths, and cultivate a more positive and compassionate relationship with who you are.

One of the key benefits of journaling is that it helps you identify and challenge negative self-talk. Often, we are unaware of how critical or harsh our inner dialogue can be. Journaling allows you to become mindful of these patterns and replace them with positive affirmations, gratitude statements, or self-care practices. Over time, this shift can foster greater self-acceptance and improve your overall self-esteem. Journaling can also provide an emotional release. Writing about your feelings—whether they are positive or difficult—can provide clarity and catharsis. It creates a sense of control by allowing you to process emotions in a healthy and productive way, preventing them from being bottled up or ignored. By exploring your unfiltered thoughts, you can gain insights and perspectives that you hadn’t considered before. It’s a wonderful space to set goals, reflect on progress, and celebrate achievements—big or small—on your self-love journey.

Journal Prompts on Self-Love

Journaling is a powerful way to nurture self-love—it gives you space to reflect, celebrate your worth, and practice kindness toward yourself. If you’re ready to embrace more self-compassion and confidence, here are some journal prompts to guide you on your journey to self-love:

1. I am worthy of happiness because…

2. I am worthy of love because…

3. Describe your dream self-care day (then, plan a date to do it).

4. Write down five things you are grateful for.

5. Name something you can do right now that your future self will thank you for, and make a plan to carry it out.

6. What are you looking for in a romantic relationship? How can you give it to yourself?

7. Who inspires you? What attributes do you share?

8. Name something you love about your body that isn’t related to what it looks like.

9. Write down five things you can do this week to bring joy to your routine.

10. What makes you feel most alive?

11. Write down five nice things people have said about you recently.

12. What’s standing in the way of your feeling happier, and what can you do to change that?

13. If time and money weren’t an issue, what would you do with your life? Dream a little.

14. When are you saying “yes” when you want to be saying “no?”

15. Look back on the last five years and share the accomplishments you are most proud of.

16. If you could talk to your younger self, what would you tell her?

17. Where can you incorporate play into your life?

18. Write down 30 things that make you smile.

19. What are three self-love habits you can incorporate into your routine?

20. What can you do this week for your body? Your mind? Your soul?

21. “I secretly enjoy…”

22. Describe five traits you liked in yourself as a child.

23. List out your daily habits. Which ones are nurturing? Which ones aren’t?

24. Describe the items in your home that bring you joy. Which ones aren’t bringing you joy, and why are you keeping them?

25. What does “self-love” mean to you? 

26. What current habits are harmful to your sense of self-love?

27. When do you feel the most confident in yourself?

28. What are three flaws you accept about yourself?

29. What boundaries do I need to set for myself (in work, relationships, finances etc.)?

30. Describe yourself positively in 10 words.

READ: How to Achieve Body Acceptance and Self-Love, According to an Expert

Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery

Journaling is like having a conversation with yourself—it helps you untangle your thoughts, understand what truly matters to you, and gain clarity on your dreams. If you’re ready to dig a little deeper, here are some journal prompts to guide you on your journey of self-discovery:

1. What are your core values? How do they align with your current life path?

2. What are your long-term goals? What steps can you take to achieve them?

3. What are your strengths and weaknesses? How can you use them to your advantage?

4. What are your passions and interests? How can you incorporate them into your daily life?

5. What are your biggest fears? How can you overcome them?

LISTEN: 4 Simple Ways to Live Your Best Life

Journal Affirmations and Prompts to Improve Self-Love
Source: Cora Pursley | Dupe

Affirmations on Self-Love

Everyone struggles with self-doubt and negative self-talk from time to time—it’s part of being human. Use these daily affirmations to help quiet those inner doubts, build confidence, and cultivate a mindset that lifts you up, even on the toughest days.

1. I am enough.

2. Thank you, body, for my ability to…

3. I am worthy of love.

4. Everything I need is already within me.

5. I let go of all that does not serve me.

6. Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line.

7. I choose progress over perfection.

8. I have a lot to offer the world.

9. I am not my mistakes or flaws.

10. I honor my own life path.

11. I am balanced.

12. My inner world creates my outer world.

13. I can reclaim my power.

14. I deserve to be happy and joyful.

15. The universe has my back.

16. It is a good day to be alive.

17. Good things are ahead of me, good things are coming.

18. I don’t need someone else to feel happiness.

19. I’m okay with my imperfections. Nobody is perfect.

20. I am the hero of my own life story.

21. I will not compare myself to strangers on the internet.

22. I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment.

23. I am allowed to take up space.

23. My worth is not determined by the outcome.

25. I am proud of my accomplishments–no matter how small.

26. Failures and mistakes help me move forward.

27. Today I am aiming for good enough, not perfection.

28. I am committed to personal growth today.

29. My voice and opinions matter.

30. I am on my way to becoming the best version of myself.

READ: 100 Positive Affirmations for Women

journal affirmations
Source: Maria Dilley | Dupe

Overcoming Self-Doubt and Negative Self-Talk

Self-doubt and negative self-talk can hold you back from personal growth and self-love, but with the right mindset and habits, you can start to break free. Be gentle with yourself—this journey isn’t linear, and it’s one you’ll continue learning from throughout your life. Start by practicing self-compassion—be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend. When negative thoughts creep in, challenge them and replace them with positive affirmations that reinforce your worth. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift and encourage you. Prioritizing self-care, both physically and emotionally, is essential for maintaining a healthy mindset. Finally, take the time to learn and nurture your self-love language—whether it’s through words of affirmation, acts of service, or quality time with yourself, embracing what makes you feel valued can deepen your self-acceptance and confidence.

Maintaining a Consistent Journaling Practice

Journaling is one of the best ways to check in with yourself, but like any habit, it takes time to stick. Studies say it takes about 66 days to form a habit, so if you’re trying to make journaling a regular part of your life, start by deciding how often it feels realistic—daily, weekly, or somewhere in between—and experiment with the best time of day for you. Try writing in the morning for a few days, and if that doesn’t feel right, switch to evenings or any time you feel compelled.

Set realistic goals, but don’t be hard on yourself if you miss a few days—journaling should feel inspiring, not like a chore. If strict schedules don’t work for you, write when you feel excited or when you need to process thoughts. Keep a list of journal prompts handy for those days when you don’t know what to write about, whether it’s tracking career goals, manifesting your dream life, or practicing affirmations. If you’re a type-A girlie who struggles to put detailed thoughts on paper, try Tori DeSimone’s to-do list method—it’s a structured yet simple way to journal with purpose. You can also try bullet journaling to build a personalized structure that helps you organize your thoughts and stay focused on your goals.

  • Set aside a specific time and place for journaling each day.
  • Start small and commit to journaling for just a few minutes each day.
  • Make journaling a habit by incorporating it into your daily routine.
  • Experiment with different journaling techniques and prompts to keep things interesting.
  • Be patient and kind to yourself if you miss a day or two.

READ: 90 Journal Prompts For When You Feel Like You Have Nothing to Write About

MEET THE AUTHOR

Calissa Kirilenko, Breathwork Facilitator & Contributing Wellness Writer

Calissa is a Wellness Writer for The Everygirl who specializes in covering subjects surrounding mental health, meditation, and self-care. She is also a Certified Breathwork Facilitator and works with clients to heal through the power of their breath.

MEET THE AUTHOR

Katherine Chang, Wellness Staff Writer

Katherine Chang is The Everygirl’s Wellness Staff Writer with over five years of experience in the health and wellness space. She navigates the latest wellness topics and trends through expert interviews and studies, and she’s always first in line to try them firsthand.

The post 60 Journal Affirmations and Prompts to Improve Self-Love appeared first on The Everygirl.

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50 Under-$100 Items That Can Help You Revamp Your Style on a Budget https://theeverygirl.com/under-100-winter-fashion/ Fri, 14 Feb 2025 16:08:56 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=333061 under $100 shopping How am I feeling about the current state of my closet? I’ll use a metaphorical example: You’ve been seeing the

The post 50 Under-$100 Items That Can Help You Revamp Your Style on a Budget appeared first on The Everygirl.

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How am I feeling about the current state of my closet? I’ll use a metaphorical example: You’ve been seeing the same person for a while, putting in the time and energy to take things to the next level, when suddenly, you realize you’ve caught the ick. The same can be said about my closet: No matter how much time I spend curating the perfect wardrobe, I inevitably reach a point where I suddenly feel bored with everything in my closet. Unlike dating, though, the desire to revamp my wardrobe is going to cost me more than the awkwardness of a break-up—it’s going to cost some hard-earned dollars, too. Fortunately though, I did my due diligence and managed to find pieces that are both on-trend and on-budget to help me get out of my slump.

Being the picky (and professional) shopper that I am, I’ve sifted through hours of new arrivals to compile a list of 50 guaranteed, ick-immune pieces under $100. A word to the wise? Proceed with caution—these are hard to pass up.

winter outfits
Reformation
Knit Top
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winter outfits
Abercrombie & Fitch
Crew Cardigan

4 colors available

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winter outfits
Grey Lab
Striped Polo Sweater
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H&M
Denim Shirt

2 colors available

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GAP
Oversized Boyfriend Sweater

4 colors available

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H&M
Knit Cardigan

3 colors available

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Eloquii
Sheer Plisse Top
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Everlane
Boxy Oxford Shirt

8 colors available

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Gap
Barrel-Sleeve Denim Shirt
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Lioness
Double-Breasted Blazer
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AFRM
Off-the-Shoulder Mesh Top
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Grey Lab
Cardigan Sweater
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Quince
Cashmere Ribbed Sweater

5 colors available

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AFRM
Off-the-Shoulder Bodysuit

3 colors available

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Edikted
Oversized Bomber Jacket
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winter outfits
ASOS
Quilted Frill Collar Jacket
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H&M
Corduroy Collar Jacket
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H&M
Short Trench Coat

3 colors available

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ASOS
Leather Harrington Jacket
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Quince
Cashmere Ribbed Midi Dress

5 colors available

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winter outfits
GAP
Vegan Leather Midi Skirt

2 colors available

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Lioness
Maxi Skirt

2 colors available

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winter outfits
Lioness
Cuffed Jeans
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Lioness
Horseshoe Jeans
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Lioness
Coco Capris
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Lioness
Pleated Trousers
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H&M
Drawstring Pants

3 colors available

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Lioness
Bubble Midi Skirt

2 colors available

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Abercrombie & Fitch
’90s Relaxed Jeans

21 colors available

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Levi’s
501 Jeans

2 colors available

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Abercrombie & Fitch
Low-Rise Baggy Jeans

35 colors available

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Reformation
Cropped Knit Pants

2 colors available

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superdown
Annalise Pant Set

2 colors available

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Abercrombie & Fitch
Mini Skort

4 colors available

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H&M
Napped Loafers
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winter outfits
Sam Edelman
Leather Sneakers

6 colors available

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H&M
Fuzzy Leather Flats

2 colors available

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Steve Madden
Suede Sneakers

11 colors available

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Anthropologie
Suede Buckle Bag

2 colors available

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JW PEI
Shoulder Bag

10 colors available

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BaiYouDa | Amazon
Woven Crossbody Bag

6 colors available

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Madewell
Mini Denim Bag

4 colors available

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Fifth & Ninth
Oval Polarized Sunglasses

3 colors available

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H&M
Rectangular Sunglasses
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winter outfits
Madewell
Studded Western Belt

4 colors available

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Madewell
Buckle Belt

2 colors available

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Bracha
Cuff Bracelet

2 colors available

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J.Crew
Hinge Cuff Bracelet

2 colors available

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Madewell
Droplet Statement Earrings

2 colors available

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J.Crew
Tennis Necklace

2 colors available

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tinsley crisp
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tinsley Crisp, Fashion & Beauty Staff Writer

Tinsley Crisp is a Fashion & Beauty Staff Writer at The Everygirl and specializes in reporting on the season’s latest trends and hottest products. As a New York City-based stylist, she’s committed to injecting joy into the art of getting dressed and delivering attainable yet aspirational content to our readers.

Products included in graphic linked within the article. Feature graphic images credited to: Anthropologie, Edikted, Madewell, Quince, H&M, Anthropologie, Levi’s, Anthropologie, and Everlane.

The post 50 Under-$100 Items That Can Help You Revamp Your Style on a Budget appeared first on The Everygirl.

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Cancel Your Plans—These Spicy Romance Books Will Keep You Up All Night https://theeverygirl.com/spicy-books-to-read/ Fri, 14 Feb 2025 13:41:03 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=346287 spicy books Picture this: It’s a quiet evening, the couch looks delightful, and staying in with a riveting novel sounds like the

The post Cancel Your Plans—These Spicy Romance Books Will Keep You Up All Night appeared first on The Everygirl.

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Picture this: It’s a quiet evening, the couch looks delightful, and staying in with a riveting novel sounds like the perfect way to spend the night. Sure, going out with your gals or other half is an option, but whether you’re in your single era or simply crave a night to yourself, there’s no reason romance can’t be on the table for you tonight. On a night like this, a spicy book is just what the doctor ordered. And if you’re looking for a vetted rec, you’ve come to the right place. I’m a huge fan of spicy books. There, I said it. Whether I’m on my couch, my bed, or even at my local coffee shop, I love a few sweat-inducing scenes—or even chapters full of devious things sure to keep my heart rate up.

Though BookTok is great for finding recommendations on everything from cute rom-coms to the dirtiest smut, everyone has different opinions on what defines “spicy.” One sex scene? A whole anatomically correct description of the act? A hot makeout scene? Well, I’ve gone through some of the most memorable spicy books I’ve had the pleasure of reading and compared each of them to see which were the spiciest and what’s basically a cute story with just a couple of pages of bliss.

To determine what exactly a spicy book is, I ranked each choice according to how many steamy scenes each book has and how intense they are. For example, level one books may only have one or two sex scenes, while a level three book will have more spicy scenes in more graphic detail. As for the level five books, those are the books I’d turn to if I was pretty much only looking for spice. So, the next time you’ve got a night to yourself or with a special battery-operated friend, you’re certain to find the material you’re looking for below.

 

spicy books
Abby Jimenez
Just for the Summer

Spice Level: 1/5

Justin and Emma have the same curse: Everyone they’ve ever dated has gone on to find their soulmate after they’ve broken up. In an attempt to break the cycle, they decide to date each other and then break up. But what was intended to be a quick summer fling turns into more. As their personal issues get intertwined, they catch feelings and wonder if their curse was actually disguised fate bringing them together after all. This book is sweet, funny, and emotional. It has one mildly spicy chapter, but the descriptions are light, so it’s the perfect read for anyone who wants a wholesome romance with a side of slow-burn spice.

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spicy books
Rebecca Ross
Divine Rivals

Spice Level: 1/5

Iris Winnow’s only hope to save her family is landing the columnist promotion at the Oath Gazette. To soothe her worries, she writes letters to her missing brother, but they mysteriously land in the hands of her rival at the paper, Roman Kitt. When he anonymously writes her back, they forge a connection that follows Iris on the path to saving her family. If you’re looking for the trifecta that is slow-burn romance, historical fiction, and a smidge of fantasy, add this to your TBR list ASAP. With just one fade-to-black spicy scene, you’ll adore this enemies-to-lovers romance.

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spicy books
Heather McBreen
Wedding Dashers

Spice Level: 2/5

Ada’s little sister is getting married in Ireland, and she just barely manages to get a ticket on a budget airline. When her connection is cancelled, she gets stuck in London with no way to make it to the wedding. As she spills her heart out to a handsome stranger at the bar, she realizes the stranger is headed to the same wedding. Oh, and he’s the best man. Jack and Ada must put their simmering attraction behind them to make it to Belfast before they miss the nuptials. But between flat tires, missed trains, and suspect hostels with only one bed, Jack and Ada start to question whether their feelings and steamy chemistry are worth going the distance. If you love forced proximity and enemies-to-lovers tropes, you’ll fly through this slightly spicy novel.

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spicy books
Ana Huang
The Striker

Spice Level: 2/5

Asher Donovan is a living footballer legend, but his reckless antics and recent team transfer have caused controversy. When his feud with his rival-turned-teammate costs the team a championship, they’re forced to “bond” during off-season cross-training. Surviving the summer shouldn’t be hard… until Asher meets their new trainer. She’s beautiful and talented, and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t take his mind off her.
The only problem? She’s his rival’s sister, and she’s completely off limits. We know Ana Huang does steam and angst like nobody else, and her new sports romance is no exception.

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spicy books
Yulin Kuang
How To End A Love Story

Spice Level: 2/5

Helen Zhang hasn’t seen Grant Shepard in 13 years—not since the tragic accident. Now a bestselling author, she’s getting a fresh start in LA, where she’ll work in the writers’ room of the TV adaptation of one of her books. Meanwhile, Grant has done everything in his power to move on from the past and become a screenwriter. He knows he shouldn’t have taken the job on Helen’s show, but it will open doors that he just can’t pass up. While working together, their secrets come to light, and what unfolds is messy and intoxicating. This story has serious sexual tension and angst from start to finish.

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spicy books
Lauren Asher
Love Unwritten

Spice Level: 2/5

What’s worse than working for a grumpy single dad? Admitting that you once had a secret crush on him in high school. Thankfully, Rafael Lopez and Ellie Sinclair have changed since graduating from Wisteria High. He is a billionaire with a company to run and a child to take care of. She’s an unemployed songwriter he hired to watch his son and teach music. They coexist without any issues until a vacation changes everything. Lines blur, and old feelings for Rafael return with a vengeance, and things start heating up in more ways than one. Steamy chapters are throughout this book, but of course, the build-up to the end will make you hot.

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spicy books
Ali Hazelwood
Deep End

Spice Level: 3/5

On the surface, Scarlett, a competitive diver, and all-around aquatics golden boy, Lukas, have nothing in common. But when a well-guarded secret slips out about their shared BDSM kink, everything changes—so they start an arrangement in the form of a no-strings-attached relationship. As the NCAA Championships approach, the pressure builds in more ways than one. Eventually, it becomes impossible to stay away from each other. Read our full review of this book here! Spoiler: We think it’s Ali Hazelwood’s spiciest book yet.

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spicy books
Penelope Douglas
Tryst Six Venom

Spice Level: 3/5

Set at the competitive, uptight Marymount school, Tryst Six Venom follows Clay and Liv: two sworn enemies. Clay is the perfect Catholic good girl, the queen bee of Marymount, who is hiding a secret that would cause her to tumble from grace. Liv is the Ivy-bound outsider, known around Marymount for her too-short skirts and her too-red lipstick. Liv has told Clay many times to never “cross the tracks” and bring her good-girl ways into Liv’s territory, but one day, Clay’s curiosity overcomes her. Anyone who loves a bully romance will be obsessed with Clay and Liv’s rivalry-turned-romance. This WLW story will get you just the right amount of hot and bothered.

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spicy books
Meghan Quinn
Bridesmaid for Hire

Spice Level: 3/5

After years of working her tail off at her event-planning business, Maggie Mitchell is ready for a vacation. While enjoying the warm weather of Bora Bora, in saunters Brody McFadden, her brother’s best friend and also her sworn enemy. That is, until she finds out he’s in Bora Bora for a wedding. She realizes offering her services as a bridesmaid and planner could bring her business to the next level. The only catch? She needs to pose as Brody’s girlfriend to get the job. Tensions rise, and despite years’ worth of bickering behind closed doors, Maggie can’t quite squash the sparks building between her and her new fake boyfriend. Expect a slow burn here, but once it heats up, you’ll be sweating.

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spicy books
Casey McQuiston
The Pairing

Spice Level: 3/5

After a brutal breakup, Theo and Kit exited each other’s lives once and for all. All that remains is the unused voucher for the European tour they never went on. Four years later, it seems like a great idea to finally take the trip, separately. Of course, they both had the exact same idea, and now they’re trapped with each other for three weeks in the most romantic cities of France, Spain, and Italy. When Theo suggests a full-on European hookup competition, Kit is totally game. But sometimes a taste of everything only makes you crave what you can’t have. If you loved Casey McQuiston’s Red, White & Royal Blue (the movie or the book), you’ll love this steamy read.

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spicy books
Liz Tomforde
Play Along

Spice Level: 4/5

What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas… Sometimes, it follows you right back home. Kennedy is the athletic trainer for the Windy City Warriors, desperate to land her dream job with a new team next year. But a Las Vegas run-in with the team’s shortstop, Isaiah, threatens it all when she wakes up with a fuzzy memory and a ring on her left hand. Thanks to Isaiah’s scheme to save her job, they must pretend the whole thing was a planned elopement and not a drunken mistake. But Isaiah’s had a crush on Kennedy for years, and this might just be his chance to finally win her over. If you’ve been looking for a sexy open-door sports romance, you just found your next favorite.

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spicy books
Sara Cate
Praise

Spice Level: 4/5

The first book in the Salacious Players’ Club series, Praise, is not for the faint of heart. Charlie Underwood is a notorious good girl, broken down by her neglectful ex. When Charlie stumbles into a job at the Salacious Players’ Club, she is entranced by the club’s owner, Emerson Grant. Emerson knows what he wants, and he isn’t afraid to ask for it… But when he realizes that Charlie is his son’s ex-girlfriend, he offers her a job as his secretary and nothing more. Soon, Charlie is the one who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants, and what she wants is Emerson. Full of sexcapades, their hot age-gap relationship is perfectly sweet, sexy, and kinky.

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spicy books
Elsie Silver
Wild Love

Spice Level: 4/5

Despite being named World’s Hottest Billionaire, all Ford Grant cares about is escaping the press and opening a recording studio in small town Rose Hill. He spends his days balancing business with parenting and trying desperately to keep his hands off his best friend’s sister, Rosie Belmont. But when Rosie begs for a job, Ford can’t help but hire her. He shouldn’t cross this line, but he can’t resist her. The spicy dialogue in this book is unmatched—you will definitely be thinking about this one long after you finish it.

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spicy books
Tessa Bailey
Dream Girl Drama

Spice Level: 4/5

A steamy chance encounter between Sig, a professional hockey player, and Chloe, the dream girl he just can’t seem to forget, takes a turn when the pair realize that their parents are engaged. They both know there can never be more than friendship between a famous hockey player and his high-society, soon-to-be stepsister. But keeping their relationship platonic grows harder amid the developing family drama, especially knowing they were meant for so much more… We all know Tessa Bailey can do no wrong when it comes to dirty talk, so this extra spicy story will not disappoint you. If you loved the heat in It Happened One Summer, you’ll be looking for a way to cool off after this read too.

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spicy books
L.J. Shen
Truly Madly Deeply

Spice Level: 4/5

Alright, I think we can admit that we all love a bad boy love story. Conceited, unattainable, and downright delicious, renowned chef Ambrose Casablancas has one passion in life: food. Women are only a distraction, especially Cal Litvin, his sister’s best friend. Her entire existence is a complication. There’s just one problem: Cal shows up at his doorstep, looking for both a job and salvation after their messy goodbye. His resolve, like his patience, is ebbing each day she works at his restaurant. Because Cal is no longer a doe-eyed girl. Now? She’s the woman he’ll do anything to conquer. This read is addictive and explicitly open door.

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spicy books
Sierra Simone
Priest

Spice Level: 5/5

Fleabag once said, “I want to *ahem* a priest,” and after seeing all the hype about this book, I can understand why. When Tyler Bell breaks his vow of celibacy—on the altar of his own church—he embarks on a very, very spicy journey. There’s just something about Poppy Danforth that makes him want to break all the rules, no matter the cost. Even just 100 pages in, you’re sure to be satisfied with the spicy scenes Sierra Simone has blessed us with. While the book does have a plot, you can easily skip a few pages here and there and get what you came for in the first place. We all know why we’ve gathered here, and it’s to hear all about Father Bell’s sins.

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spicy books
B.B. Reid
Lilac

Spice Level: 5/5

In this reverse harem tale, Braxton Fawn, self-proclaimed “luckiest girl alive,” becomes the lead guitarist in a hot new band full of hot young guys. When bandmates Houston, Loren, and Jericho let her know they’ve been watching her and liking what they see (professionally and in, ahem, other ways), the musicians take their rock star lives to the next level, whether in their van or even in the woods. Or outside the van. Or in hotel rooms. The point is, if having a great time with hunky guys who will fight over you—or work together to please you—has been your fantasy, settle in for a long night of reading. Let’s just say that while there is a plot, this is basically just a book of sex scenes.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Emily Krivograd, Contributing Entertainment Writer

Emily Krivograd is a freelancer writer who has been contributing to The Everygirl’s Entertainment section since 2021. You can count on Emily for the best book, TV show, movie, and podcast recommendations.

Jenna piotrowicz
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jenna Piotrowicz, Editorial Assistant

Jenna began working as an Editorial Assistant for The Everygirl in 2024. With her eye for detail, she assists the team with content creation, sourcing products and images, and works behind the scenes to support The Everygirl in uploading and updating content.

Feature graphic images credited to: Fahressi | Dupe, Belphnaque | Adobe Stock, Pixel Shot | Adobe Stock

The post Cancel Your Plans—These Spicy Romance Books Will Keep You Up All Night appeared first on The Everygirl.

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I Own Dozens of Leggings, But This $30 Amazon Pair Is My Favorite https://theeverygirl.com/amazon-leggings-review/ Fri, 14 Feb 2025 02:15:31 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=228577 amazon leggings As a fashion editor, my life quite literally revolves around clothes. I think about them, try them, and test them

The post I Own Dozens of Leggings, But This $30 Amazon Pair Is My Favorite appeared first on The Everygirl.

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As a fashion editor, my life quite literally revolves around clothes. I think about them, try them, and test them all day, every day—and much to my dismay, have never shied away from spending money on them. However, the one category of my wardrobe I’m thrifty about is workout wear. Despite working out daily, spending $100+ on clothes that I don’t fantasizing about styling just never appealed to me. (I’d always choose to buy a new top or a pair of jeans over a pair of leggings.) However, due to the nature of my job, I’ve acquired a lot of expensive workout wear over the years. I love and wear all of it, but recently realized something: Despite my extensive activewear collection, when I fold my laundry, I always put my $30 Amazon pair at the top of my leggings pile.

Given the quantity of clothes I own, the top-of-the-pile test is one I take very seriously. As I put laundry away every week, I always subconsciously put the pieces I wear the most at the top of their respective piles in my closet. The pieces I reach for the least will slowly make their way to the bottom of their pile, which means they’re not getting worn—and inevitably, will get donated. The top-of-the-pile pieces stay there because they’re getting washed frequently, which also means they’re getting worn frequently. They’re the top of the pyramid; the ones every piece in my closet aspires to be.

I have about a dozen pairs of leggings that I rotate between consistently, but when every pair of them is clean (read: I have my choice of all of them—including ones that cost well over $100), this Amazon pair is the first I reach for. I have them in three colors, and every week, all three pairs find themselves back in the laundry after being put through a good workout.

CRZ Yoga
Butterluxe High-Waisted Leggings

20+ colors available

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My workouts usually alternate between running, strength training, and pilates. When the weather cooperates in Chicago, I run on the lakefront trail almost every day—which to me, is the ultimate test for a good pair of leggings. In my book, there’s nothing worse than gearing up, getting on the trail, and starting a run only to be fidgeting with a pair of leggings a quarter mile in. These, however, go above and beyond their expected duties.

What makes them so good? Several things, actually. First, they feel like butter, but simply do not move during a workout. I can’t count the number of miles I’ve ran in these, and they don’t slip, slide, or feel uncomfortable in any area. Actually, I don’t think about them at all while I’m working out, which is exactly what I want. I also wear them for strength training, and they’re completely squat-proof, too.

Second, they’re flattering, but also easy to get on. I find that if a pair of leggings is too compressive, the trouble of squeezing into them makes me feel like they’re more trouble than they’re worth. They’re compressive enough to look flattering without being so compressive that you feel like you’re wearing Spanx. They also have pockets, which is a necessity to me if I’m going for a run and need somewhere to keep my keys. They also come in 20+ colors, so it makes it easy to find a pair you love (I personally own the green, purple, and black).

I’ve owned all three of my pairs for over two years, and have put them through the wash every week since then—but despite 100+ cycles in my building’s less-than-stellar washer and dryer, they show literally no signs of wear. My toxic trait is that I’m not super careful with my clothes when I wash them, and rather than air drying delicate pieces like workout wear, throw everything into the dryer without thinking twice. Despite that, there’s no pilling, no loss in elasticity, and no loss of quality in any of my three pairs. I’ve put each of them through the absolute wringer, and despite that, they look and feel like new after over two years of wear.

If these leggings were $100, even I would consider shelling out the cash for them—but luckily, they run for $32. The perfect pair of leggings for a price that’s a fraction of other options? That’s a win for us all.

CRZ Yoga
Butterluxe High-Waisted Leggings

20+ colors available

Shop now

 

Madeline Galassi
MEET THE AUTHOR

Madeline Galassi, Senior Fashion & Beauty Editor

Madeline has been covering fashion at The Everygirl since 2018. She edits all fashion content, writes in-depth trend reports, and curates the direction of the fashion and beauty sections. She’s worked with top brands like Nordstrom, & Other Stories, Sézane, and Everlane.

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The “365 Moderate Challenge” Turns Healthy Habits Into a Lifestyle https://theeverygirl.com/365-moderate-challenge/ Thu, 13 Feb 2025 22:27:46 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=509173 365 moderate I’m all for self-improvement, but when it comes to “no pain, no gain” health and fitness challenges that appeal to

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I’m all for self-improvement, but when it comes to “no pain, no gain” health and fitness challenges that appeal to our inherent desire for quick fixes and promise life-changing results (see: 75 Hard), I’m calling BS. It’s the same song and dance: A short-lived dopamine hit and a sense of accomplishment from checking off the healthy habit or rules every day (regardless of how you really feel), only to revert to your old ways once the challenge ends. While time-specific health and fitness challenges can jump-start the motivation to adopt a healthy routine and prompt some initial improvements, they often fall short of creating lasting habits and behavioral change.

At the risk of sounding cliché, the age-old fable of the tortoise and the hare applies: Slow and steady change (AKA consistency and sustainability) trumps the touted promises of instant-gratification challenges. Case in point: 365 Moderate, the antithesis of “going-cold-turkey” challenges that promote showing up for yourself every day by building daily, sustainable practices. But what exactly does this new trending challenge entail? Keep reading as experts break it down.

What is 365 Moderate?

So, what does 365 Moderate look like? The goal is to pick a few sustainable, healthy rituals that you want to follow every day for a year (with the intention to keep them as habits even after you’ve reached a year). While you can choose to follow any habits that make you feel your best, Dr. Chris Mohr, PhD, RD, the fitness and nutrition advisor at BarBend, provided this general plan for 365 Moderate:

  • 30–60 minutes of moderate activity daily, like brisk walking, cycling, or swimming, adjusting intensity based on your energy level (include strength training with body weight or light weights two to three times per week and flexibility work, like yoga or stretching, a few times a week)
  • Eat a balanced diet with moderate portions of a variety of (mostly) whole foods like grains, fruits, veggies, lean protein, and healthy fats
  • Practice self-care of your choosing for at least 10-15 minutes daily
  • Get at least seven to eight hours of sleep each night
  • Rest when your body tells you to (include light movement like walking or mobility work)

“The trick is to slowly incorporate healthier habits over time that work for you, building on each of them like building blocks,” added Dr. Laura Kunces, PhD, RD, CSSD, the VP of medical strategy at Thorne. Maybe that’s drinking a cup of water before having coffee, taking a walk daily (be it 10 minutes or 10,000 steps), or listening to more self-help podcasts. Then, the next month, try walking for another five minutes or 500 steps, then tack on an additional 10 minutes or 1,000 steps, and so on, or create a wellness stacking routine (think: listening to a podcast while you work out or hydrating while you meal prep). “Once each new step becomes a habit, add another,” Dr. Kunces suggested. “Slowly building on healthy habits can help prevent you from getting overwhelmed and losing motivation and accommodates a tailored plan to meet your physical and mental needs.”

What are the Benefits?

Unlike most health and fitness challenges, 365 Moderate doesn’t dictate any criteria or rules—just a commitment to moderate behaviors like mindful eating, regular movement, and rest when needed. According to Dr. Mohr, it’s about balance rather than intensity. “The 365 Moderate method is a year-long, flexible approach to building healthy habits,” he explained. “Unlike rigid challenges like 75 Hard, it focuses on sustainability by encouraging small, consistent changes.”

Dr. Kunces added that 365 Moderate advocates for balanced and consistent wellness practices throughout the year, meaning that no strict guidelines or restrictions are necessary. “The idea is to incorporate small changes into your routine, which includes overall nutrition and hydration, sleep, exercise, and mental health practices, that you can maintain every day, generally working to build better habits that will eventually improve your overall healthspan significantly,” she said. “Mindfulness, consistency, and flexibility are all core characteristics of the 365 Moderate concept.”

Short-term challenges are enticing: They have a finite timeframe with an end in sight, a structured plan to follow, and the pretense of rapid progress. But they take a one-size-fits-all approach, not considering individual differences in fitness levels, health status, or lifestyle, and lack direction on how to maintain or continue progress once the challenge is over. “While challenges like 75 Hard may result in more immediate and visible changes off the bat, the extreme diligence it takes for those 11 weeks makes it unrealistic for most people to maintain; most people can’t follow an inflexible diet with no room for enjoyment, let alone work in two 45-minute workouts,” Dr. Kunces said. Instead, the 365 Moderate framework is much more approachable and beneficial for incorporating healthy habits for the other 41 weeks of the year, too, which will likely result in positive behavior changes lasting a lifetime.

“365 Moderate is more sustainable because it avoids the burnout associated with short-term, high-intensity challenges like 75 Hard,” Dr. Mohr said. It’s built around manageable and flexible shifts, making it easier to integrate into your daily life. Rather than chasing quick results, the 365 Moderate method encourages forming better habits progressively and allows for the necessary time to address personal triggers and hang-ups, which translates to long-term well-being. “It takes away the pressure of being perfect and promotes more consistency gradually,” Dr. Mohr concluded.

Are There Any Downsides?

“While there aren’t any downsides to the idea of a healthier diet and exercise routine—particularly one that advocates for moderation and sustainability—365 Moderate doesn’t necessarily evoke an initial burst of motivation that a challenge like the 75 Hard does for some people,” Dr. Kunces said. A strict program can be temporarily motivating and put some people in the right mindset to be successful, whereas a wellness concept without clear guidelines, such as the 365 Moderate, can be confusing, discouraging, or easily forgotten. Dr. Mohr also pointed out that the absence of a structure and accountability measures may not appeal to those who do better with rules or want immediate results, making it harder to stay motivated. But he said that can be easily remedied by setting personal goals and tracking progress in a way that works for you.

Experts Consulted

DR. CHRIS MOHR, PhD, RD

Dr. Chris Mohr is a registered dietitian and exercise physiologist and the fitness and nutrition advisor at BarBend.

DR. LAURA KUNCES, PhD, RD, CSSD

Dr. Laura Kunces is a registered dietitian and board-certified specialist in sports dietetics and the VP of medical strategy at Thorne.

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Home Items to Splurge Vs. Save On, According to Design Experts https://theeverygirl.com/save-splurge-home-decor/ Thu, 13 Feb 2025 20:49:58 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=252852 home items to invest in By no means do you need to splurge on every single item in your home to design a place that’s

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By no means do you need to splurge on every single item in your home to design a place that’s beautiful and reflects who you are. We’re big proponents of snagging deals when you can or even finding cheaper solutions you can DIY. That said, when a higher price tag means a better quality piece that’ll last you for years, it’s worth investing a little more. So which home items should you spend a little more on and where is it worth cutting back? Figuring out how to allocate your decorating budget can feel like a puzzle. We spoke to design experts to determine which home items are worth investing in and where you should save your cash. Here’s how to get the most for your money when decorating your home:

Splurge On: Your Sofa

For something you’ll use as often as a sofa, spending a little more can go a long way. You’ll want to choose a comfortable, high-quality sofa that can last you through years of lounging, hosting friends, and couch-rotting. Cheaper options are often lacking in comfort and durability, so it’s a good idea to purchase the best quality sofa your budget will allow. When it comes to choosing a specific style, interior designer Patrice Stephens has some additional tips. “It would need to be a timeless piece that isn’t trendy and will carry you through the years,” she explained. But that doesn’t mean your overall setup has to look bland. “Adding textiles will help in changing up the vibe, and you can for sure go a little trendier there,” Stephens added.

Save On: Accent Furniture

Accent pieces like side tables and nightstands don’t receive nearly as much use as the major furniture components in the room, so it’s a good idea to save your budget in this category. This rule can even extend to accent chairs that you don’t sit in very often. If it’s mostly just for style purposes or something you only use on occasion, you can find plenty of affordable options that’ll work just as well as more expensive pieces.

home items to invest in
Source: @eyeforpretty

Splurge On: Area Rugs

Trying to save a little money by opting for a smaller-sized area rug is one of the most common design mistakes I see people make. A rug that’s too small for the space can make the whole room look awkward and cheap. So when I say you should splurge on rugs, I don’t mean you need to spend thousands on a fancy hand-tufted one. There are plenty of affordable rug options out there with beautiful, high-quality designs. But when it comes to choosing a size, definitely leave room in your budget to purchase one that’s big enough for your space.

Save On: Artwork

Unless you’re really passionate about art, there’s no need to spend a pretty penny on that one-of-a-kind piece (at least not quite yet). There are plenty of other options that will be friendlier to your budget. “Original art can be very expensive, and while I definitely think that, at some point, investing in art is the move, beautiful art absolutely does not have to be expensive,” design influencer Hattie Kolp said. “My favorite hack is to download art for free on a museum website like the Met, then have it printed on canvas. It gives it a textured look that is pretty convincing!” You can also find affordable art at retailers like Target, Amazon, and Etsy. With these tactics, you can easily create an entire gallery wall for less than the cost of one pricey piece.

home items to invest in
Source: @cohesivelycurated

Splurge On: Statement Light Fixtures

“Lighting sets the tone for a room, and a beautiful light fixture above can have a big impact, so that’s where I splurge,” design influencer Hannah Hamburger said. If you’re swapping out light fixtures that are hard-wired in (like a chandelier for your dining room or pendants over your kitchen island), it makes sense to spend a bit more on something you’ll love for years to come. However, Hamburger also noted that lighting can be a prime category in which to save. Though she shells out more for statement pieces, she spends less on table and floor lamps, which are easier to switch out. 

Save On: Decorative Accessories

Trust me: No one is going to be able to tell the difference between a $20 vase and one that costs $200. “Save on easily replaced accessories such as lamps, decorative items, throw pillows, and any trendy items that you will eventually tire of once the trend is over,” interiors photographer Linda Holt advised. There’s no need to spend a huge chunk of change on accessories that are just for display or that you might want to swap out seasonally. Thrift stores and retailers like HomeGoods or Target are excellent resources for scoring these types of accents for a low price.

home items to invest in
Source: @jennasuedesign

Splurge On: A Mattress

According to sleep experts, a mattress can last up to 10 years, so aim to choose one you’ll be comfortable sleeping on for the next decade. A good quality mattress is an investment in your sleep, which we all know is vital to your overall health and wellness. I can personally attest that an amazing mattress makes all the difference—I’ve had mine for the past eight years, and while it was a bit of a splurge upfront, I can’t imagine parting with it anytime soon. It’s truly the comfiest and has moved with me to five different apartments!

Splurge On: Your Bed Frame

After you find the perfect mattress, go ahead and tackle the next item on your list: a bed frame. “Your bed is the main focal point of your bedroom, so you want to invest in a beautiful frame,” design influencer Lidia Salazar said. Quality is also key here—you don’t want something that squeaks or wobbles when you get into bed. In terms of style, think carefully about which styles will prove most versatile in the long run should your aesthetic change in a few years’ time. You can’t go wrong with a classic upholstered bed in a neutral color or a sleek frame made from solid wood.

Splurge On: Pieces You Love

This is your home after all, so you should fill it with pieces that you truly love and that bring you joy. If that means spending a little extra on that furniture item you’ve had your eye on for months, then so be it! As long as you’re still operating within your budget, consider it an investment in your happiness and buy the thing you love.

MEET THE AUTHOR

Sarah Lyon, Contributing Beauty & Lifestyle Writer

Sarah Lyon is a freelance writer and interior design enthusiast who currently lives in New York City. Her work focuses primarily on design and lifestyle topics ranging from decorating tips to beauty advice to travel guides.

Jessica friedhoff senior lifestyle editor
MEET THE AUTHOR

Jessica Friedhoff, Senior Lifestyle Editor

Jessica Friedhoff is the Senior Lifestyle Editor at The Everygirl, where she oversees the Home & Living category of the site. She writes and edits stories across a broad range of topics including decorating, food, entertaining, travel, and more. With a pulse on the latest trends, she uses her eye for detail and design to create timely, inspiring content for our readers. Jessica also holds a certificate in interior design from the New York Institute of Art + Design.

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30+ Bumble Openers That Are Way Better Than “Hey” https://theeverygirl.com/bumble-openers-to-try/ Thu, 13 Feb 2025 20:35:28 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=170941 bumble openers These days, there are dozens of dating apps to choose from, but Bumble has always been one of our favorites.

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These days, there are dozens of dating apps to choose from, but Bumble has always been one of our favorites. Can you blame us? They’ve put women first since their inception, their features continue to make dating more enjoyable (we love you, Incognito Mode and Deception Detector), and with Chicken Shop Date‘s host Amelia Dimoldenberg as one of their partners, our dating life feels like it’s in pretty good hands.

Bumble is known for women having to talk first in heterosexual couples, and while it can be a tiny bit daunting, it reverses the roles and makes us think on our toes, which I’m totally here for. However, after a while, coming up with new Bumble openers can be a challenge, and saying “hey!” doesn’t exactly scream “get to know me.”

Whether you’re new to the world of online dating or you just need some inspiration, we’re sharing our favorite Bumble openers to try with all your new matches. 

Ask interesting questions

Opening up with a question is a sure-fire way to get the conversation going. As a double-text kind of gal, I typically ask a question and immediately send my answer in a second one. I find that doing so makes them more likely to answer too. But if you prefer to put the ball in their court, set questions as your Opening Moves. Your matches will see your question off the bat and have the opportunity to respond to open up the conversation. Here are some of my favorites:

  • What was the last thing you binge-watched?
  • How many episodes of a series is it acceptable to watch in one sitting?
  • What is your go-to brunch order?
  • What celebrity would narrate a movie about you?
  • What is your best party trick?
  • What’s the first thing you’re putting on your plate at a buffet?
  • What was the last movie you saw in theaters?
  • It’s payday: Are you treating yourself to anything exciting?
  • What was your childhood dream job?
  • What’s your favorite Disney Channel original movie?
  • What’s your go-to order at your favorite restaurant?
  • What do you order to drink at a wedding?
  • What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
  • Be honest: How many times did you hit snooze this morning?
  • If money wasn’t a factor, what would your job be?
  • If you could only listen to one musician for the rest of your life, who would it be?
  • If you could travel anywhere this year, where are you going?
  • What do you like most about your job?
  • What are you reading right now?
  • How long is your TBR list?
  • What would you do if you were invisible for a day?
  • Would you time travel to the future or the past?
  • Are you the Sunday reset or Sunday fun-day type?

Send quirky one-liners

Making someone laugh is a foolproof way to start on a positive note. By sending a quirky, albeit original, one-liner, you’re communicating that you want to chat but are not taking anything too seriously just yet. Fun and casual Bumble openers like these will make your first conversation memorable, so try them out and see where they lead.

  • “Were you on The Bachelor? I think I remember you!”: One of our editors uses this on every dating app and swears that it works. 
  • “Come here often?”: This has the same energy as “fancy seeing you here,” and I love it. It’s quirky and funny. They’re about to fall in love with you.
  • “Can I interest you in some mediocre conversation?”: Sometimes you just need something to break the ice.
  • “I was today years old when I found out my type is you: If someone sent this to me, I’d smile at my phone, so yes, I send it to my matches hoping they think it’s just as cute as I do.
  • “What brings you to this fine establishment of swipes and small talk?” You already have one thing in common! This is a great way to find out what kind of relationship they are looking for.
  • “Well, well, well… if it isn’t my newest favorite match!”: It never hurts to stroke someone’s ego a little, right??

Tailor your messages

If you want to stand out, do a little research before sending your opener. Take a look around their profile and see what catches your eye. Do they have a clear hobby from the looks of their photos? Do they mention music they like in their bio? Then, use that knowledge to tailor your message so it feels less generic and more personal. I always appreciate that when the roles are reversed, and I know others do too.

  • Ask them about their pets: People love talking about their pets; I mean, don’t you?
  • Ask them about where they went to college: People love to talk about their alma mater almost as much as people love to talk about their pets. Asking someone about their college/high school experience is generally a pretty safe way to get a conversation going. I’m known to bring up the solid OSU vs. Michigan rivalry pretty often (Go Bucks—even though my matches are almost always Michiganders…).
  • Ask them about their interest badges: Bumble has an awesome feature where you can add five interest badges to your profile, and they are a great way to get the conversation going. Pickleball badge? Ask them if they are up for some competition! Cooking badge? Ask them about their favorite recipes.

Put them in a situation

Instead of asking a random question, you can put them in a situation. My go-to: “It’s our first date, and I ask you to grab me a drink at the bar. What do you order for me?” Other ideas: “What do you play on the TouchTunes at the bar on our first date?” or “What would you wear to our first date?”

Bumble openers like this give someone a chance to think about what it would be like to go out with you, and it’s a good way to gauge someone’s personality from the get-go (When someone tells me they’d order shots for me at the bar, I know that our relationship will go nowhere). 

Ask them out immediately

You don’t have to wait for some spark or a sign to ask someone out, so shoot your shot. They matched with you already, so why not take your relationship elsewhere? “Drinks this weekend?” suffices and isn’t intense or creepy. Dating apps are already a little direct, so why not take it to the next level immediately with your Bumble openers?

beth gillette
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Beth Gillette, Former Editor

Beth Gillette is a former editor at The Everygirl, where she specialized in beauty content and covered the latest trends in sex and relationships. Beth spent four years as part of The Everygirl’s editorial staff and is currently a beauty editor at Cosmopolitan.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hailey Bouche, Associate Editor

As an Associate Editor for The Everygirl, Hailey Bouche oversees, writes, and edits content across various categories on the site. From the pitching stage through publishing, she works alongside the team to ensure that the content that our readers see every day is inspiring, relatable, and timely.

The post 30+ Bumble Openers That Are Way Better Than “Hey” appeared first on The Everygirl.

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“I Chose to Stay After He Cheated”: 15 Women Share Their Cheating Stories https://theeverygirl.com/women-who-forgave-cheating-in-relationship/ Thu, 13 Feb 2025 12:30:00 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=508283 cheating in relationship There are certain things in life we tell ourselves we’ll never do: get bangs, lie to our therapist, stay in

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There are certain things in life we tell ourselves we’ll never do: get bangs, lie to our therapist, stay in a job we hate, and lose touch with friends. We tell ourselves we’ll work hard, love hard, and always see the good in people, but that we will never, ever stay with someone after they’ve betrayed us. However, as we move through life, we realize these decisions are more nuanced and complex than we initially thought. More often than not, we change our minds. We do get bangs, we do lie to our therapists, and most shockingly, we do forgive partners after they’ve cheated on us. Never say never, right?

A lot of us have done that last one—I have, and so have many of the women reading this. I can say that with certainty because we asked you to share your stories, and an overwhelming number of responses came in. Reading through them, I felt a mix of relief and heartbreak—it’s clear that many of us are part of a club we never intended to join.

The Everygirls are getting real about what happened after they forgave their partner for cheating. Are they over it? Are they still together? Not shockingly, the answers range from “hell no” to “we are happily married.” Read on for solidarity, validation, or the juicy details—either way, you’re not alone.

They made a backup plan

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Vowing to leave if it happened again and not fully trusting that it wouldn’t, a handful of women shared that they now have a backup plan. “I have my own amazing travel trailer on the Texas coast and am looking to buy land for myself,” said Sarah. After her husband had an emotional affair with his coworker, they remained married, but Sarah said, “I should not have looked to him solely for safety and security.” She encourages others to be pragmatic since “you never know what the future holds.”

It’s not uncommon for people to stay in relationships because they aren’t sure how or where they will live. Is it easier to be unhappy than to start from nothing? With a backup plan in place, readers like Sarah share that they don’t have to worry about that. Sure, it’s not great to pay for land or set money aside just in case you get cheated on again, but it does give peace of mind.

They became better than ever

Sometimes, couples lose their way. Whether they are going through something difficult, like the loss of a loved one, or they fear being judged for their desires, communication and connection can break down. This is where infidelity can find its way into your relationship. In this case, Blair, 35, says, “Honest conversation can clear that air,” since she believes that cheating can be a result of “unmet needs.” Her partner, who is bisexual, cheated on her with another man, which she explains was due to him feeling like he couldn’t talk to her about what he needed. With clarity and a dedication to being open and transparent moving forward, it’s possible that you can find your way back together—which Blair and her partner did.

Brooke, 38, said, “I truly don’t think our relationship would be as good as it is today with it not happening.” After her now-husband cheated on her, he became dedicated to being “all in,” which meant communicating openly and honestly. Now, they don’t keep any secrets and are better for it. This is echoed by Alex, who confronted her partner after seeing suspicious texts. “Our relationship is better than ever… It was a major bump in the road, but it has given us that much more perspective on how to care for a relationship so that it stays strong,” she explains.

They dream of starting a new life

Allison, 47, whose response hit me like a ton of bricks, said, “I sometimes wish he would cheat on me now so I could start a new relationship.” She forgave her husband over a decade ago for his infidelity and believes he’s been faithful since, but admitted, “You are sometimes so far in that it’s so much harder to leave.” Hindsight provides clarity, making it easy to see that leaving would have been the best choice. However, as more time passes, it becomes harder to justify.

“Our relationship is better than ever… It was a major bump in the road, but it has given us that much more perspective on how to care for a relationship so that it stays strong.”

Cara, 29, shares that it’s been two years since her partner cheated on her with another woman he swore “meant nothing” to him. She’s been grieving the end of their relationship this whole time. Now, she dreams of leaving and admits that this year, she plans on actually doing it—once she can figure out how.

Many readers express that they still aren’t sure if they made the right decision to stay, and they wonder what would have happened if they had left. Would they be happier now? Would they feel stronger for it? With that in mind, they vow to do so if there is a next time, and some of them, like Allison and Cara, find themselves waiting for the day they feel free.

They became concerned for their kids’ futures

Stay Together for the Kids isn’t just the Blink-182 song we used to play on the way to middle school; it’s what a lot of couples do after infidelity, trusting that it’s easier on their littles that way. One reader, Catherine, 41, who noticed her husband was “distracted” by something she couldn’t pinpoint at the time, shared that she didn’t want her husband’s cheating to “f*ck up” their children’s view of him, since “he was and is an excellent father.” Kate, 35, who found out her husband was cheating thanks to Facebook, says that because their finances and kids were intertwined, “it was easier to stay and work through it than to leave and start over.”

Alternatively, another reader, Emily, 31, who had a “gut feeling” that her partner wasn’t being faithful to her, shared that she plans on leaving with her kids in tow if it happens again. This was echoed by Cheyanne, 33, whose husband “gaslit” her into thinking his coworker was “just his best friend.” She says she will be “strong enough to walk away and be the parent their child needs.”

“I started hating myself. I started doubting my self-respect and feeling as if I couldn’t trust myself. I felt icky. I didn’t feel like myself because I knew I deserved better.”

As a child of a cheating-induced divorce, I can’t say which way is better, but I do know that kids play a big factor in decision-making. Do you stay so they have a “normal” household, or do you leave to show them that you shouldn’t be with someone who disrespected you? This is something many women are still grappling with, even after giving forgiveness.

Their mental health took the brunt of it

When you tell yourself you’re never going to do something, like stay with a cheating partner, and then you do, you start to question yourself. Lauren, who quite literally was having dreams her husband was cheating on her only to find out he actually was, shares, “I started hating myself. I started doubting my self-respect and feeling as if I couldn’t trust myself. I felt icky. I didn’t feel like myself because I knew I deserved better.” At one point, she thought they could start over and move forward stronger together, but worse than feeling like she could never trust him again was the feeling of not being able to trust herself.

Millie, 34, had a similar experience after her partner cheated on her with a bartender. She wanted to forget it and move past it, but when she tried, her body felt the stress. “The body keeps score,” she says, explaining that she suffered from panic and anxiety attacks while they tried to work through his infidelity. Eventually, for both Lauren and Millie, the mental and physical effects forced them to put themselves first.

They became better versions of themselves

Trauma changes people, and that’s not always a bad thing. Sabrina, 37, felt in her gut that her boyfriend at the time was cheating on her while she was studying abroad, and even though their initial fallout was difficult, their years apart did them both wonders, as she explains. They chased their dreams, started new careers, and “got a lot of growth and expansion” out of their systems. 15 years later, they reconnected and got married. She still has a tender nerve and says it’s not the fairytale she imagined, but says, “I appreciate the level of realness and courageous love it requires of us.”

Molly, 33, who has a similar story of growth, found out her fiancée cheated on her six months before their wedding day—oof. She said forgiveness happened slowly: “When I let him come home, when I let him back in our bed, when I married him…” Through individual therapy and couples counseling, they came out the other side as different people. She explains that she grew in too many ways to count. “I realized how strong I was. I became a better communicator. I learned how to have more compassion. I learned more about him. He learned more about me… we grew together,” she explained.

They are still working on forgiveness

Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight—that sentiment rang true in almost every response. You can “forgive” your partner for cheating and move forward together, but, Jess, 30, who had a gut feeling her partner wasn’t being loyal and confirmed it by going through his phone, explains, “It will constantly be a work in progress, something we will never truly leave behind.”

Rebuilding a relationship requires hard work. It asks you to communicate when it’s not easy. It begs you to see the good in each other. It forces you to respect the other person’s boundaries. But even when you do all that perfectly, a scar remains. If you’re reading this and you’re still trying to forgive your partner, or you’re still trying to forgive yourself for staying too long, know you’re not alone. We are all a work in progress.

Editors note: Names have been changed to protect identities.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hailey Bouche, Associate Editor

As an Associate Editor for The Everygirl, Hailey Bouche oversees, writes, and edits content across various categories on the site. From the pitching stage through publishing, she works alongside the team to ensure that the content that our readers see every day is inspiring, relatable, and timely.

The post “I Chose to Stay After He Cheated”: 15 Women Share Their Cheating Stories appeared first on The Everygirl.

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The HR-Approved Jackets That Are Replacing Our Oversized Blazers This Year https://theeverygirl.com/office-jackets/ Wed, 12 Feb 2025 20:34:23 +0000 https://theeverygirl.com/?p=508082 office jackets As a woman, getting dressed for the office has never felt particularly easy, but there’s something about navigating workwear in

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As a woman, getting dressed for the office has never felt particularly easy, but there’s something about navigating workwear in a post-COVID era that feels inexplicably worse. With many of us working from offices at least a couple of days a week, the question of what to wear to work feels more confusing than ever.

In a day and age where office dress codes’ lines are a little more blurred, finding an outfit that isn’t too dressy but still remains work-appropriate can feel incredibly overwhelming. As a stylist, I work with clients who want to look more put together for work, but not in the pantsuit-and-heels way they used to. The solution I always suggest? A three-part outfit consisting of an elevated tee, an easy denim alternative, and a really (really) great jacket. While blazers have had a white-knuckled grip on workwear for what feels like forever, adding another style of work-appropriate jacket to your wardrobe can be game changing.

Read on for 30 HR-approved jackets beyond your standard blazer. Fair warning, though: If you snag one, you might have to field “Where’d you get that?” questions at next month’s all-staff.

office jacket
H&M
Textured-Weave Jacket
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office jacket
Quince
Merino Wool Cropped Jacket

3 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
SELFI
Sculptured Cropped Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Z Supply
Knit Jacket
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office jacket
NVLT
Whipstitch Knit Blazer
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office jacket
Babaton
Cropped Tweed Jacket

3 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Modern Citizen
Structured Denim Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Madewell
Wool Zip Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
4th & Reckless
Button-Front Blazer
Shop now
office jacket
Mare Mare
Tie Blazer
Shop now
office jacket
Maeve
Cropped Trench Coat
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office jacket
Banana Republic
Vegan Suede Cropped Jacket

3 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Everlane
Denim Barrel Jacket

3 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Mango
Tweed Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Abercrombie & Fitch
Suede Button Jacket

2 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
City Chic
Cropped Bomber Jacket

2 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Wit & Wisdom
Cropped Knit Coat
Shop now
office jacket
Modern Citizen
Cotton Twill Bomber Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Abercrombie & Fitch
Zip-Up Cardigan

3 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Lane Bryant
Knit Tweed Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Abercrombie & Fitch
Collarless Suiting Blazer

4 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Babaton
Structured Bomber Jacket

3 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Eileen Fisher
Cotton Shirt Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Banana Republic
Knit Bomber Jacket

3 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
GAP
Cropped Herringbone Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Aritzia
Button-Up Cropped Jacket

13 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
Sézane
Button-Front Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Chico’s
Faux-Leather Jacket
Shop now
office jacket
Mango
Faux-Leather Jacket

2 colors available

Shop now
office jacket
H&M
Twill Jacket

3 colors available

Shop now
tinsley crisp
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tinsley Crisp, Fashion & Beauty Staff Writer

Tinsley Crisp is a Fashion & Beauty Staff Writer at The Everygirl and specializes in reporting on the season’s latest trends and hottest products. As a New York City-based stylist, she’s committed to injecting joy into the art of getting dressed and delivering attainable yet aspirational content to our readers.

The post The HR-Approved Jackets That Are Replacing Our Oversized Blazers This Year appeared first on The Everygirl.

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